You DESERVE love
It seems, at times, as if we are in this world alone. As I sit here on the floor of my living room in the midst of California’s only rainy day— what perfect time to experience nostalgia and reflect on our lives and share with you…
It occurred to me recently that all of my life I have felt that I had a pretty good life. It wasn’t always this way, and I wasn’t always this positive. In my childhood I experienced a few traumas. [SPOILER ALERT: most of the things that happened in our childhood, still affect us today]. These don’t necessarily have to be things that traumatized us or made us feel bad in any way. It could be as simple as feeling like you always need to be an over achiever to feel loved because your parents were SO loving. Because in your little adolescent mind, doing more equals more love. More love is best. Thats how it goes right? But maybe I can speak more to those who did experience some sort of trials, anywhere in your life.
I didn’t know my life held trauma because my perception of the world, thats just how things worked. Everyone’s parents fight, everyone’s parents divorce. As an only child you learn to hold your own. You either make your own friends or you secluded into the happiness of your own mind and heart. Some of my life events still make me uneasy to talk about. It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I could talk about it at all. I still remember very vividly the very first person I told about my past. I think a big part of me preferred to bury it; deep in the abyss because what purpose would it serve me to FEEL those dark feelings. But let me tell you a lil somethin’— STUFFING DOES NOT SERVE YOU! Ignoring and repressing your feelings will appease you for a little while, but not long will you find yourself having to turn to alternative routes to cope. This manifests itself in alcohol consumption, drug use, binging on Netflix, numbing by aimlessly scrolling the instagram, twitter, facebook— because after all seeing all the success complete strangers achieve makes you feel goo, right? WRONG.
Im here to tell you something. You are not alone. Everything you feel is felt by the collective of all of us. And by collective, I mean we are all intertwined. Call it faith, call it God, call it Universe. Whatever you want to recognize this as, I believe one thing to be true— we are no different than the next person. No matter what country you originated, color or your skin, preference in who you like, it don’t matter. I’m gonna talk grammatically incorrect so you know its real. Because this shit is serious. We have got to stop dicking around.
Somewhere in our lives we learned to behave the way we still behave today. Our stories will continue to repeat themselves like one of those cheesy Christmas movies where they keep reliving the same day, over and over; Until they get it right! Because our Higher Selves want the best for us. You have potential. You are more than your limiting beliefs. Your flaws. Your doubts. You are not your depression or anxiety or illness. The life you desire is for you. Everything that has happened in your life is FOR you and has served you in some way up until this point. Can we all agree that we all have some sort of past? It doesn’t have to be a comparison game of who had it worse or better. We all have a story of how we got here. Now, I don’t know about you but id like to be co-contributor to my own future!
You are safe. You are protected. You are here to create more. You are here to thrive within this lifetime.
There are two significant emotions in life. Period. Only two. There is either fear or there is love. Fear is simply a lack of love. Whenever we are feeling uneasy or down, we simply need to experience more love. We may not be giving it to ourselves so we seek from others or external sources, only to be continually disappointed.